Shifting Grace
by Blackfeatheredfluff
Summary: Cas is burdened by the feeling of failure once he falls, so Dean tries to help him realize his worth. (My first smut)


The music was flowing through the bunker as Dean tapped out the beat as he was busying himself with dinner. Cooking had become one of his favorite things to do now that they were settled into the bunker.

When he was younger he would always have to feed Sammy so he would have to scrounge up whatever he could find (Or steal) and try to pass it as palatable. He would always try to improve on his skills but they were always on the road and his cooking skills were never as important as his hunting skills.

So now Dean hovered over the stove as he slow cooked his homemade red sauce with meatballs. He loved the smell of all the ingredients and held much pride in serving food that formed compliments in between bites.

"Mmmm that smells amazing." The honey sweet voice whispered behind him as long arms wrapped themselves around Deans waist. He could feel Castiels body pressed into his back as his head rested on his shoulder.

Their relationship had taken a leap of faith a few weeks after the angel had fallen. Long nights of nightmares broke the fallen angel down and he found himself curled into the hunters bed and since then they have been like magnets drawn to one another like a moth to a flame. Castiel felt comfort in Deans presents and Dean enjoyed Castiels company. They tried to keep their relationship a secret from the wandering eyes of Sam Charlie and Kevin but they knew it was well know were Dean and Cas stood. They kept it very simple, they shared a bed and exchanged loving touches and kisses but surprisingly nothing sexual had ever happened in all the nights they spend together.

"I'm no half ass cook." Dean said smirking turning away from the stove to face Cas, lips only inches away from each other. The fallen angels' arms still held Dean tight to his body.

"I hope you're hungry." Dean said in a low voice.

"You have no idea." Cas almost growled back taking Deans mouth in his placing a kiss on his lips then moving down to his jaw and across his collar bone.

A small moan escaped Deans mouth but was muffled by closed lips. Dean had his hands tight on Castiels back as the angle pushed him to the edge of the counter pressing himself hard onto Dean. Sharing light kisses as they exchanged boy heat.

Footsteps down the stairs startled both men awkwardly back into their normal positions, Dean looking down at the red sauce as Castiel wandered over to the cabinets to look for a snack.

Sam appeared in the doorway he was looking better than he had in months finally after weeks of reading through the men of letters archives they found many spiritual and soul healing rituals that seemed to help Sam expel the poison of the trials.

"Dinner almost ready?" Sam asked, he really had perked up in the past few days he was running in the mornings again and was back to nagging Dean about his red meat intake.

"Yeah about five more- Damnit Cas why are you eating right before dinner?" Dean snapped at the man who had a mouthful of popcorn.

"It's just a tiny snack, my stomach was killing me!" he said as he chewed.

"Yeah, yeah make yourself useful and get some plates." Dean was teasing Cas and gave him a quick wink before turning back to Sam.

"So how have you been feeling?" Dean stirred the sauce with a long wooden spoon as he waited for a response, he could hear Cas clicking plates and silverware as he attempted to set the table.

"I'm doing great actually, for the first time in months I feel like I can climb a flight of stairs without coughing up a lung."

Dean smiled to himself.

"I always warned you about chain smoking."

"Very funny" Sam spat back and went to assist Cas in his struggles of the simple act of setting a table.

"KEVIN, CHARLIE DINNER IS READY!" Deans call echoed through the bunker. A few minutes later they could hear footsteps coming up from the library. Charlie entered the room with Kevin not far behind.

"Alright everyone grab a plate and get some grub." Dean announced as he walked over the stove to fish out three meatballs from the large pot of sauce to put on top of his spaghetti.

"Wow Dean this smells amazing!" Charlie said as she took her seat at the table. Everyone quickly settled down and dug into their meal, Dean was pleased with the sounds of contentment he heard around the table.

"So any new leads on the angels?" Dean asked as Charlie was finishing a mouthful of noodles.

She nodded her head excitedly. "I used my computer to track the areas where they landed based on the weather patterns that happened during the three day falling period. They really fell all over the world but a the largest amount in America fell in the mid-west, As far as I can tell they are still angels ,grace and all, they are just shut out of heaven. Cas seems to be the only one who has truly fallen." Pausing at the comment she had just made. "Sorry buddy." She placed a hand on Castiels shoulder.

"It's okay; I have come to terms with my fate." He said as he shoved a large bite of meatball into his mouth eyes not moving from his plate.

"So what are we going to just drive up to some pissed of angels and what? We aren't killing them there's too many we literally can't do anything to them." Sam said putting down his fork.

"Well I thought we should just keep track of them you know in case someone knows we were a part of the whole kicking their asses out of heaven deal." Kevin added

"Well I was part of that whole 'kicking their asses out of heaven deal.'" Cas added air quotes, " I failed my brothers and sisters again and I can't hide from them forever, one day I will have to face what I have done." Cas put his fork down obviously losing his appetite as he pushed his plate to the center of the table.

"Cas you know you can't blame yourself for this, he fooled us all." Sam added sympathetically.

"But we don't need to go over this all again." Dean cut in he knew that Cas blamed himself for the angels falling and wanted to do what he could to avoid that conversation.

Kevin stood up to clear his plate after they finished eating in silence; soon everyone else followed and cleared the table.

Everyone went back to their daily duties, Sam and Charlie washed dishes while Dean, Cas, and Kevin skimmed over old dusty books they found deep in the library.

Thankfully Cas was still fluent in many languages, he had become their main translator since they no longer had Bobby.

"I'm very tired I think I'll head off to bed." Cas said stretching his arms over his head and running his hand through his thick dark brown hair making it stick up.

Dean didn't look up, only nodding at the man as he continued reading more about spiritual healings of a broken soul.

Cas slowly walked down the hall, his feet dragged across the floor as he walked into the bathroom. Everything was very white and clean. They had a very large claw foot tub and a shower with a bench and two showerheads. Obviously the men of letters live luxurious lives with many high tech appliances; yes the boys had to change out some things. Cas bough his very own coffee maker because he didn't like waiting of a full pot to brew.

He decided to take a hot shower before crawling into bed. Walking over to the shower to turn the dial, the water instantly flowed through the shower head, slightly splashing onto Castiel.

He stepped back closing the glass door of the shower, stripping down to nothing he turned to the mirror. He was human now and his body needed much maintenance to function, he could no longer use his grace to will his body into staying healthy. He had muscles but not like Sams, his body flowed smoothly his legs were very strong he held his strongest muscles there. He had a slight trail of hair leading from his bellybutton down his groin.

He turned around to look at his back, muscular curves from his shoulders to his bottom. He had to long parallel gashes that sat on the inside of his shoulder blades, they were no longer raw, his wings used to fill the place but since he feel his wings had been ripped from his back leaving him a bleeding mess. Now he is left with two large scars on his back as a reminder of who he was, of who he will never be again.

The mirror was becoming fogged by steam and Cas decided it was time to climb into the shower. He stepped in and the hot water burned his sensitive skin but he did not draw back, he welcomed the pain like it was an old friend. He let the water completely envelope his body as he felt his muscles relax and his stress liquefy. Steam filled the bathroom and fogged over the doors. Cas started humming Hey Jude to himself because he always found it soothing. Sitting down on the bench in the shower he let the water flow over him as he brought his knees up to his chest.

Castiel hated himself for failing his family and watching them fall, he thought Naomi was the enemy he was blinded by the need the fix everything he had done before. Now he was alone in a bathroom with the guilt of letting everyone down once again, but this time he was mortal.

Being human wasn't as terrible as Castiel though it would be but he was so limited, and he felt empty without his grace, What used to fill him with warmth was now gone and he felt cold.

He hadn't told Dean about any of this but he was sure he knew something was up. Cas and Dean's relationship had grown from a normal friendship to hey-do-you-mind-if-we-share-a-bed-and-cuddle-all-n ight. It was nothing official and they shared some kisses but nothing below the belt, at least not yet.

He was brought out of his thought by the bathroom door opening and the closing again. There was so much steam in the room it created a protective blanket that covered Castiels naked body from whoever had entered the room.

"Hello?" Cas asked and he tried to see who was there, all he could make out was a large blur that stood by the counter.

"Dean is that you?" Cas called again.

He waited a few more seconds and he was about to get out to see who it was but before his hand reached the handle the door had opened. The steam flowed around the blond haired man as the steam droplets stuck to his skin.

Dean was completely bare as he entered the shower with Castiel and he was completely shocked by his presents but not put off.

"Dean?" Cas asked his voice an octave higher than normal. Dean was covered in wonderfully formed muscles and old battle scars, droplets of water ran down his anti possession as he moved under one of the shower heads.

"Hello Cas." His voice was deep, he was worried about Cas, he knew it.

"What are yo-" But Dean cut him off with a longing kiss, one of Deans hands moved into Castiels wet hair and the other wrapped itself around Castiels slender waist.

Cas moved his hands to rest on Deans strong shoulders. Dean had never held Cas so intimately before and Cas felt blood slowly flowing the his groin by the feeling of Deans warm body on his.

Deans lips moved down to Castiels neck and peppered kisses across the wet surface.

Cas let out a deep moan and tightened his grip on the hunter. Dean pulled away to looked the dark haired man up and down. He was semi hard and was craving for Dean to kiss him again, his hand moved up to pull at Deans hair a little and push him into another kiss.

"Cas?" Dean asked between a kiss.

"Yes dear?" Cas pulled his mouth back and looked at the green eyes man, his nose and cheeks were covered in small freckles and he saw the worry in his brow.

"What has been bothering you?" He asked as he sat down on the bench pulling Cas with him. He sat in the mans lap as water poured onto his chest.

Cas took in a deep breath, he knew this conversation would come up eventually he just didn't think they would be naked in the shower when he asked.

"I feel like I only fail when I try and help." Cas was looking down at his hands as he spoke. "No matter what choice I make, even for the right reason, it blows up in not only my face but everyone's. I almost ended the world with the leviathans and now I have exiled all the angels from heaven." He felt his throat tighten and tears began to cloud his vision it was so much harder to say out loud.

"Castiel." Deans voice was a low whisper, barely audible over the sound of the running water.

"This isn't your fault; we were all tricked by him. You can't take it out on yourself; we thought Naomi was who was out to get us. You can't always go blaming yourself like this, especially now that your emotions are so much stronger. Being human is scary and you have to learn to let it out sometimes, love." Dean placed a kiss on his wet head and started to slowly rock him. He rubbed his back, fingers tracing over the two large scars that he now had, Cas shivered as Deans fingers danced over his soft wet skin.

"Where would I be without you Cas." Dean asked looking into the other mans deep blue eyes.

"In hell of course." He let a small smile break across his lips and he lifted his body up to meet Deans mouth. Their kiss turning a little more aggressive and Cas started pulling at the hunters hair. Dean let out small moans as he felt himself slowly harden.

Dean pushed Cas off of him and they both stood up on their feet, water still splashing their backs from either side. Each man was under their own shower head as Dean continued the kiss he had broken off a few second ago. He slid his hand down Castiels stomach and wrapped a firm grip and around Castiels growing erection. Cas let out a hiss as Dean lightly rubbed circles around his head with the pads of his thumb. Pushing Cas to the cold tile he searched the shelf for body soap. Dean grabbed the vanilla senate wash off the shelf and squirted a sizable amount into his hands. He rubbed them together to create bubbles and then placed his slick hands on Castiels chest rubbing him up and down. He worked his hands across the mans body rubbing his muscles and placing kisses on his lips. He slowly made his way down his body until he was lathering his inner thigh and gently cupped his balls.

"Ah Dean!" Cas's voice was needy, they had never done this before so all these feeling were so knew. Dean wanted to explore every inch of Castiel but he didn't know how long Cas would put up with Deans teasing. Dean slid his hands around bad to rub Castiels ass and lower back. Small whimpers escaped Cas's mouth as Dean tortured him.

Finally he moved his soapy hands around his throbbing cock. A yelp left Castiels mouth when Dean pumped his hands up and down his shaft. Dean took Castiels mouth in his as they bucked their hips into each other. Dean loosened his grip on Cas to place his growing erection on Castiels and then Dean wrapped his hands around them both.

Castiel grabbed at Deans face as he continued to thrust in rhythm with Deans pumping, both their cocks rubbing on each other. Cas was hungry for Dean and he started sucking on his neck and collar bone as Dean continued to run his soap covered hands over Castiels well endowed shaft.

"Oh Dean- yes ah!" Cas breathed in between kisses.

Dean knew Cas was about to finish and he would be close behind. Five more hard pumps and Castiel's warmth coated Deans hand, two more thrust and Dean had finished. Both men were breathless and leaning on the wall for support.

Cas was looking up at the ceiling as Dean buried his head into his neck.

"Dear god, Cas." Dean panted.

"I love you, Dean." Castiel wrapped his arms around the satisfied hunter and let the water wash them clean.

"No matter what happens Cas, you will always be my angel." Deans voice was low as he spoke the words into Castiels neck.

Cas felt his throat tighten again as he felt warmth spread through his body, filling in the emptiness his grace has left.

Placing one last kiss on Deans head he leaned his head back and let the warm water envelope both hunter and fallen angel.


End file.
